A Cheesy Proposal
by Mortal Anonymous
Summary: When it's Cheese Sandwich, would there really be any other way to do it? Cheese Sandwich/Sans Smirk!


A slender, balding, blue-grey stallion with a black, sleek, slick-backed mane stepped back from the compact mailbox at the front of the gag factory he ran for the greatest traveling party pony in Equestria. Straightening his circular-rimmed spectacles that perched on the end of his muzzle, he closed and locked the back of the business mailbox's door, then turned and headed back towards the upstairs office he'd come from, this his goal as he gave his hoof a lick and began sifting through the fresh stack of letters between steps as he walked.

His expression was blank as he sorted. It was a stack of nothing particularly thrilling. Confirmation notices, bills, someone finally getting back about that leaky pipe...and then, halfway up the stairs, the stallion's eyebrows went up in mild surprise as an unexpected piece of mail appeared: a personal letter addressed to Sans Smirk, from Cheese Sandwich himself.

Well, this was a rare treat. Quickly slipping the rest of the mail into the breast pocket of the dark, dark brown form-fitting jacket he wore, Sans let a minuscule smile of excitement appear on his normally stoic face as he turned his focus to the envelope decorated with fun, appealing party stickers in variety of festive colors.

Immediately, the letter exploded, sending forth from its papery depths a shocking burst of confetti. There was no letter, only this startling wave of color accompanied by the sound of a celebratory noisemaker.

In his reflex to recoil from the suddenness of this cheery letterbomb, Sans stepped back, consequently losing his footing on the stairs he'd been climbing. Just as instantly, he was tumbling in a series of backwards somersaults back down those steps and halfway across the factory floor.

He was uninjured after this involuntary wild acrobatic feat, and once more adjusted his glasses as he lay plastered onto his back. Next he blinked in some confusion, lips slightly parted as the ceiling came into focus, for it was not as it normally was. In fact, spelled out in a rainbow of expertly-twisted noodle balloons was the question, "Will you merry me?"

Sans barely got a handful of seconds to analyze this mysterious message before an upside down face invaded his vision, grinning widely at him. An orange face surrounded by a tangled mess of frizzy brown curls peeking out from under a black western hat.

Sans gasped. "Sir!"

An even rarer treat than mail detailing his boss and closest friend's travels was a visit from the factory's CEO himself!

The lanky pony in question threw off his hat and accompanying poncho, revealing the casual yellow shirt underneath before offering a cheery hoof to help the other off the floor. "Hiya Sansy~!" he greeted as loudly and brightly as ever in his distinct nasally voice.

Taking the hoof, Sans was all smiles as he stood. "Sir, you're back! What a pleasant surprise!" The two shared a tight squeeze as Cheese confirmed, "Yep! And I'm back for a good while this time! Not only do I have a barrel load of doozy novelty ideas, but it has been _too_ long since we got in some quality time~!"

Sans listened, hoof to his chest over the joyful news before he praised, "And what a delightful way to announce it..! Confetti bomb to prat fall to big reveal. Mwah. Brilliant." He pecked his hoof and sent the kiss to the air. "Only..." He glanced up at the ceiling before tilting his hoof to indicate the message there. "I'm afraid I don't get it. Merry..?" Usually he did not have to try to understand Cheese's jokes, and loved them dearly. This was the only pony Sans Smirk had ever met who could make him belly laugh. As a pony specializing in the technique and analysis of humor himself, Sans felt he ought to be able to pick up on the gag here, unless there was some error.

Cheese gave a good-natured chuckle, shoulders bouncing. "Oh Sansy. Don't think too hard about it." The way the stuffy pony sometimes stewed over a puzzle, but especially when he was missing the big picture, was adorable. Besides that, this was one pun the professional party pony had planned on explaining, and one instance where explaining the joke was the whole point.

Throwing his foreleg around Sans' neck, Cheese moved his other hoof to take the other stallion's. That taken aback blink he got was pretty cute too. "You've been by my side supporting my dream for years now," Cheese informed in a gentle tone, "You sought me out because you admired my ambition to spread joy, you helped me build this factory and you've been by my side when I've needed you, through thick and thin, helping me reach my fullest potential. Since I've been traveling again, I've learned some things, too. Things like, I miss being away from Sans Smirk a little too much while on the road."

Sans was still unsure of the main point to this speech, but it made him smile, touched, to hear the pony dearest to him say such heartwarming things. Cheese continued. "Though it's my life's ambition to travel Equestria, spreading parties wherever they're needed, I also like just knowing that you'll always be back here waiting for me. I want to keep that feeling, just for me. I can no longer imagine spending the rest of my life without you..."

All at once his demeanor changed and his face was alight with a perky grin as he brandished towards the ceiling once more. "...so it would really make me the _merriest_ of ponies if you would _marry_ me!" His eyebrows bounced as he finally hit the punchline, eyeing Sans' face expectantly. "Eh? Eh? _Now _do you get it?"

Sans' eyes bulged and his ears went back in pure shock, but only for a second. The next second, his lips went wavy as he tried and failed to keep in a snicker, and then he was laughing loud and hard. One hoof stamped the ground as he threw his head back in appreciation for this built-up pun. Puns were his favorite! Of course Cheese would know that, and this execution was just...genius! Pure genius! "Oh, I do! I _do! _Top-rate pun, Mr. Sandwich!"

Cheese was grinning ear to ear. He knew Sans would love it. The bait-and-switch before hitting the business pony with that zinger had gone off perfectly. Nothing made Cheese happier than getting ponies laughing, but even moreso nothing did it quite like getting his long-time partner, known for being a steep challenge, to crack up.

Getting ahold of himself, Sans wiped a mirthful tear from the corner of his eye and turned back to the other, whose smile settled down to a more modest level. Taking his turn to pick up Cheese's hoof in his, Sans let his eyelids slide down fondly as he added, "And as well...I _do._" A single resolute nod punctuated his sentence. He felt exactly the same way.

A short chortle escaped Cheese's throat. "Heyyy, not so bad on the puns yourself there, Sansy-boy..!" It wasn't often Sans pulled off a gag himself, but when he did, it was great. Even better, he'd said yes! "Now c'mere~!"

Elated, Cheese grabbed Sans by the cheeks and spun him around into a dip so deep the spectacled pony was nearly lying laterally on the ground again.

And then Cheese was kissing him, with all the joy and heartfelt honesty that had been in that speech of his. A lot of passion in there too, it seemed. Sans was simply wowed at first, staring as he let it happen, but then he found himself smiling into and returning the kiss. Cheese was charming as ever. A hoof modestly latched itself around the orange pony's neck.

This was a grander kiss than any they'd had before. In fact, as one might find surprising from somepony as animated as Cheese Sandwich, their entire relationship had been subtle. It was a rumor floating around the factory that something _might_ be going on between the two top ponies at the company, but truthfully, even they hadn't truly known.

Right away after Sans had sought out Cheese Sandwich, hearing of and idolizing his kind deeds throughout the land, the pair had been inseparable. Cheese had been more than welcoming and open to suggestions for his career, and Sans had been mild-mannered and not overbearing about what elation it brought him to be so accepted by a pony he revered. As it turned out, they worked perfectly off one another as well. The creative genius and the productive genius. The yin and the yang. The comedian and the straight-pony. Their bond was instantaneous and incredibly comfortable. They barely even registered that from day one they'd spent practically no time apart. The odd hoof hold, hug or cozy foreleg snuggle wasted no time in entering their daily body language.

The next year the factory had been completed, and right before the pair had walked through the doors of their brand new factory, a soft kiss has been shared. It had been natural, an instinct during a moment of shared pride and gratitude. After it, a mere second was spent as the two stared at one another, letting that action sink in, before a minute smile was shared and they'd carried on. Nothing was said about it. The look said everything they needed to, and they knew they'd felt the same in the matter.

More moments like that would follow, only every now and again. They didn't feel like they were dating, or know if they were, but they didn't need to. Whatever they had, it was comfortable. Just knowing somepony was always there for you, supporting you, ready to give you an encouraging hug or a peck on the forehead when it was needed.

Then without either stallion realizing, the monotony of factory life had sapped Cheese Sandwich of his laugh, and alas, nothing Sans did could help it return. In the end they'd had no choice but to call in Cheese's old friend in the party planning legend business, Pinkie Pie, in hopes that her expertise could give some needed insight to the problem. Luckily, on the brink of defeat, she had managed to piece together that they'd all been looking at the problem from completely the wrong angle, and had inspired Cheese to get the wind back in his sails.

The downside to this was that Cheese would be leaving the factory after his revelation that bringing joy toponies in person was what he needed to feel fulfilled and laugh his brightest. He left Sans in charge, promoting him without second thought, but it had been bittersweet as the pair truly departed from one another for the first time since they'd met. They both felt a tug at their hearts as Cheese headed for that open road.

Cheese wrote often and visited as promised, but even visits ended a bit listlessly, as they still ended in another departure. It seemed absence truly did make the heart grow fonder, however, as this long-distance correspondence seemed to be what had finally pushed one of them into realizing what was really going on between them. The reason every little moment was so comfortably perfect. It had been a love at first sight. And both ponies were more than happy to accept it.

Here and now, the two stallions' lips parted after what had seemed like an age, and Cheese let Sans stand back upright, though he still kept a fond hold of one hoof. "I hope you're ready to celebrate!" he cheered, "Cuz I've already invited the whole factory staff to a party!"

Sans blinked in some stun again. What foresight! "Did you anticipate my reply that confidently?" he had to wonder.

Cheese flipped his hoof dismissively. "Nahhh. This was more like a 'hey, your boss is back in town and wants to do what he does best, but also I really hope Sans says yes to my proposal' kind of thing." A corny grin. "But hey! No need to worry about _that_ anymore! Let's go~!"

As a fresh one-legged hug was squeezed around him, Sans let one more smile slip onto his muzzle and an endeared tut escape his nose. That definitely sounded like his Cheese Sandwich. He gladly walked by his side as they headed to the outdoor venue Cheese had chosen to host this company-slash-engagement party. They had some last-minute setup to go over.

The party was epic, as Cheese Sandwich parties ever were. In anticipation for his arrival, the party legend had even invited Pinkie Pie back for a friendlier visit than the crisis that had brought them together last time, and she'd brought her friends, all of whom were the loudest and/or most enthusiastic about congratulating the couple. None, however, was more enthusiastic than Pinkie herself. She was practically defying gravity with how much she was bouncing and flailing all four limbs over the news, shrilly declaring how excited and happy she was for them. She also insisted slyly to Sans that she _knew_ she'd sensed something going on with the two when she'd met him. Focus on her friend's dilemma had prevented it from being a forefront of conversation, however.

Then she'd fired a party cannon in their faces.

With mussed manes full of confetti, Sans and Cheese both shared a laugh and concurred that it was time to do some partying themselves. They let Pinkie whisk them away to the dance area and take charge, leading them both through an "ultimate engagement dance" she made up on the spot, shouting out different moves as they came to her.

...

**A/N:**** Say what you want! Sans Smirk is the best thing since Maud and these two are adorable as FRICK!**


End file.
